Articles containing the tag "The Bean"

So we signed you up

To do gymnastics we thought

Turns out, it was cheer!

SCENE

Talking over dinner

Me

What's bigger than your hand?

The Bean

The World!

Me

And what's bigger than the world?

She thinks...

The Bean

The United States of America!

SCENE

The Bean walks in wearing swimming goggles.

The Bean

Look at me! I'm a vegetarian!

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While driving to "Cheer" practice:
I have this funny voice in my head. I think it's God. And they're asking me all different kinds of questions. And I'm answering them out loud. But there's one question I can't answer, because I don't know what the date is.
The Bean
On Explaining the Food Chain:
So, a scorpion might eat a human, but then that scorpion might get eaten by a... a... tuna fish.
The Bean
Questioning The Bean's motives:
I don't think you need to take wrapping paper into the toilet, do you?
Me

The Bean has been experimenting with telling fibs.

This morning she tried to convince me that she knows Katy Perry.

She still has a bit of learning to do.

SCENE

The Bean

Daddy, tell me a joke.

Me

[Thinks for a moment] My dog has no nose. How does he smell? Terrible!

The Bean

[Laughing hysterically] I get it! We don't have a dog! That's funny!

Some time passes...

The Bean

My back yard is missing... because there's no house. We don't have a house! So, how can there be a back yard!

Attempting some Simon and Garfunkel:
Cecilia, you're breaking my heart, You're shaking my communists daily.
The Bean